Large earth moving machines will dig trenches around Wood and Ohio counties. All utilities and highways will be disconnected. The entire land mass of both counties will be undermined, and giant helicopters will move each county to their new locations - including homes, businesses, families, livestock, and pets.
"There's a little sticky-outy part of Monroe County - Wood County would fit in there nicely," observed the unidentified source. "In addition, Ohio County is a nice fit to stick on to Wayne County. This will bust up Region I for good." An unfortunate side effect of the plan is that Hancock and Brooke Counties become completely disconnected from the remainder of the state. Current plans call for transferring these two counties to Pennsylvania. "That's too bad about Hancock and Brooke Counties," it was noted. "But hey, if you're gonna make an omelette you gotta break a few eggs, right? We probably should have just turned those counties over to Pennsylvania a long time ago." |
![]() New configuration of West Virginia. The new locations of Wood and Ohio Counties are highlighted. Hancock and Brooke Counties will be transferred to Pennsylvania. |